Every high school had
their cliques: the nerds, the jocks, the popular crowd, and the polygamists. I
am currently married to two wonderful wives, each more beautiful than the
other, but while one may be the loneliest number, three is a close second. Be
forewarned though, my life is like an episode of “Scooby Doo.” Interpret that
however you wish.
I was born in the
backseat of a car that was going 90 mph on interstate 95 and was raised by a
pack of wolves. And by “the backseat of a car that was going 90 mph on
interstate 95” and “a pack of wolves” I mean “a suburban hospital” and “my
parents.” Most people assume that because I am a polygamist that I am a Mormon.
If this is what you thought, please don’t waste my time by contacting me. I
hate Mormons, almost as much as people who think about Mormons. I hate Mormons
almost as much as I love ham and cheese Hot Pockets. Also, if you put
ketchup/hot sauce/mayonnaise/other condiments on Hot Pockets DO NOT CONTACT ME.
HOT POCKETS ARE PERFECT THE WAY GOD MADE THEM. I don’t believe in atheists.
I am looking for a dime, at the
top of the line. Cute face, little waist and a big behind. My ideal woman would
be a perfect blend of Wanda Sykes, Cee Lo Green and Minnie Mouse. If you think
you can handle Kelly, Shelly and myself I dare you to give me/us a call. You
won’t regret it, I think.
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