Andrew Panzarella

   

  Hey girls, the names Andrew, but both my dads always called me Explosion so lets just stick with that. I’m 43 and always have a semi. First question that you would ask is why did my dads call me explosion? The answer is simply because I’ve caught myself and been caught by my dads Henry and Mitch “petting my turtle”  more than 83 times since age 7. Naturally when Mitch opened the door the first time I was caught petting I exploded nearly 8 feet in the air, resulting in multiple stalactites on my bedroom ceiling. Do you know how hard it is to get stalactite explosions off your ceiling when your barely 3ft 5 at age 7? Needless to say Henry and Mitch are now divorced but that’s beside the point. This write up is about me and who I want to ultimately have sex with when I’m older.

    Now I’m gonna get straight to the point. I am not what you would call a handsome man. The tuba you see in my picture above is just for show, I’m really more of a zookeeper. I have 12 boys that I am raising to be gay, although do not worry I am not gay myself despite being raised by Henry and Mitch. That being said I hate chapstick and have no problem showing you my sex-offender records to show why I hate chapstick. I believe the word fun is used too loosely. Example “I had fun putting batteries in your fleshlight matt” If you want to have fun with me take me to laser tag with my best friend matt and pick me up in 3 hours. I realize that sounds like no fun for you, but imagine how it would be at my house with 12 gay boys asking why they cant look at you.
    Now for the good stuff, I’m not very good at sex but please call me I need help.

Love, 


Andrew