Spyder

            I have heard time and time again that women want a sensitive guy, but I so far have not found this to be true.  Then again, most of the women I am around are usually beating 300 lb men in the head with a lead pipe.  You see, I am a member of the neo-Nazi motorcycle group “Satan’s Warlocks” but I assure you that I am not a savage.  I merely joined because I enjoy brisk saunters on my bike in the mid-morning sun, and because of the great insurance benefits and AARP discount.  Meth peddling and hate crimes are not for me, rather I enjoy the arts: theatre (thee-ate-her), poetry, gardening, etc.  My name is Spyder but I am about to change it to Spydeur to reflect my violent infatuation with French Impressionism. 

            In my spare time I like to write poetry.  I actually have something prepared just for you.  If you will:

Thyne skin as docile as honey and milk

Thyne Hair as regal as fresh spun silk

For thee the moon chimes in the harrow wind

Thy name est              and thou want share of thy kin

In all likelihood, you are probably crying right now.  I want you to close your eyes and picture me, Spydeur, wiping your tears up with my velvet tongue of passion.  Now, open your eyes.  Is your fantasy a reality?  No?  Then I think you know what to do….